by Janet Wahlquist
"This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But ye have not so learned Christ;" Ephesians 4:17-20
When we decided not to have a TV when we established our home in 1985, it seemed as if suddenly there were all of these homeless, used TV's at every turn, begging to take up residence. Two different families even offered us TV sets as Wedding presents. Ron remained firm and politely said "No." We have reaped many benefits: more time, less junk in our minds, closer family, etc. So, how have we survived all these years? What do we do?
We work together on projects, take walks, and fellowship with others. One of the most special times in the week is family fun time. We tend to push ourselves to accomplish goals, so we must schedule a "togetherness" evening Friday or Saturday. We bring out a game, or play Charades. In recent years, we purchased a video player to watch inspirational speakers and for school supplements, but are cautious not to over-use it. Ron has thought up various games, which even a three-year-old can play with help. An example of one: he thinks up a list of questions, and each child privately answers them. Examples of questions are: "What is your favorite food?" "What would you say to a gathering of 10,000 people?" "Where would you like to go on a trip?" or "Who is your favorite president?" The list is endless. Once Ron has received the answers to his poll, he gathers everyone together and then reads the first question and then one answer. We all have to guess who said it. The group could be divided into two, and compete with each other. He goes on to another question and picks a different person's answer. At the end, he reads each question again and all the answers he didn't get to. Sometimes he just asks questions and we all talk. Story-telling is another option.
These are ways to get a glimpse of another person's perspective. If we play a board game, little ones team up with big ones to feel part of it, and can move the pieces. Outside games like kickball are always popular, and good sportsmanship can be taught, as well. There are many "game idea" books available, some with a non-competitive slant.
Book reading as a family is so unifying. Comments can be made by Dad or Mom to emphasize truth or to correct error. During this time, younger children can color or use Playdough quietly or do puzzles. Older ones may do a craft or other useful things, such as ironing and sewing. We try to pick books with spiritual benefit, and vary the age level to delight the various children. We have found that reading above the supposed age level of the child is worthwhile, and much is gleaned. If a word is mystifying - stop and look it up in the dictionary or give a simple explanation. Even our littlest ears have learned from adult missionary logs or William Bradford's Plymouth Plantation. A great inspirational and fun book for the entire family is Ten P's In A Pod. We like to read nightly after Dad's short teaching time. There are many other ways to make reading a part of family life. I love to read to the children as part of school in the afternoon. Some listen to book tapes in the car, others read on Saturday afternoon. As with everything, books, games, or educational videos must be evaluated carefully. Is there a check in your spirit that something is not right? (1 John 4:1) Pass it by. Does the book seem to use worldly techniques or be frantic? Are there compromises to godly standards? Is the LORD honored and glorified?
We have found over and over that it is better to go without any entertainment that offers good things but taints us with the world. Usually, our children are more affected than we are. Another caution if you are taking away certain amusements is-don't try to replace them with a sanitized version or with something too similar. Children will soon love to do things with you as the parent, and not miss what they were used to. Replace entertainments with relationship-growing closer to each other and to God.
For times when you must occupy your child constructively while carrying out other business (phone calls, tutoring another child, etc.), Creative Family Times, by Wilson/Hadidian, is a great resource.
These are just some ideas for family building activities. Ask God to help you become creative and use your time wisely as a family for the Lord.
