by Janet Wahlquist
"He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated." (Pr. 14:17)
I would like to share this month about an essential key to raising loving, obedient children. It is one that I have often failed to use to unlock my children's hearts, and it grieves me to look back at lost opportunities and walls erected instead of close relationships and hearts opened up. "An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression." (Pr. 29:22) "He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of his anger shall fail." (Pr. 22:8) If we mothers discipline, reprove, train, or chastise when we are irritated, frustrated, upset, etc., we tear down the godly home and Christian oneness we so long for within our family. Anger damages our loved ones. People are eternal beings created by God. Honor, reverence, and Agape love are the attitudes that God has commanded. Each precious jewel given to us needs special care."In her tongue is the law of kindness." (Pr. 31:26) "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts." Galatians 5:22-24)
Many times I would agree wholeheartedly to these ideas and turn around and fail in this area, until the Lord showed me the wrong thinking that was keeping me in bondage to the spirit of anger. The first lie was that I was "just upset." The attitudes I was struggling to deal with were in reality a manifestation of the spirit of anger, and that spirit is contrary to God's commands for his children.
"Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:" (Ephesians 4:31)
"But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth." (Colossians 3:8)
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20)
"I'm not angry; I'm just frustrated," I would say, but was I rejoicing always, giving thanks, and looking at the situation as one crafted by God for my benefit? Was I honoring the God who created all things? Fellowship with our glorious Lord was blocked by irritation. In Him all things consist and are sustained. He is working all things for my good. Why should I be angry with what He has allowed for my good? I thought that I knew best what should have happened, or how others should have acted. So pride was another attitude which I had to confess (agree with God about). "Only by pride cometh contention, but with the well advised is wisdom." (Pr. 13:10) "What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? God forbid. Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to Him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?" (Romans 9:14,20) I am contending (fighting) against God when I have these destructive attitudes instead of a spirit of thankfulness and rejoicing.
Even with this understanding of the truth about my wrong spirit, I still could not respond properly in trying situations. God graciously used an article by S.M. Davis to open my eyes to another lie which I was believing. I thought that the irritating people or aggravating situations were causing me to be angry. But that is not true. "From whence come wars and fightings among you? Come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?" (James 4:1) God is sovereign. His rule overreaches man's finite actions and decisions. When I am not thankfully reverent to all He allows, I react with an angry spirit. I am not lined up with what God is doing. How foolish to strive against God. "Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools." (Ecclesiastes 7:9)"Whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment" (Matthew 5:22). S.M. Davis explained that the phrase "without a cause" in Jesus' words here should be translated "there is no cause." There just is no cause for my anger. I can't blame my bad attitudes on others. When I think to myself: "That makes me mad," "I'm frustrated because this is the third time this has happened!" "I am so tired and nervous, no wonder I am irritated!" or, "Who wouldn't be upset with that many things going wrong!" I am blaming others for my wrong response. I now tell myself the truth: "There is no cause! God is in control. I will rejoice."
After years of reacting wrongly to various trials, I am now in the process of "counting it all joy." I can not believe the freedom and joy released in my life. I am daily thrilled with the good fruit beginning to form in my children's lives, and to see real "conflict resolution," and building of relationships. I have a new oneness with each child that I am jealous to protect. I do not want my wrong attitudes to ruin our sweet communion. When I "get upset" (display an angry spirit), I can gain the victory with the sword of the Word. I confess where I'm wrong and affirm the truth. I seek Him until I am in line with His will. When I fail (which I still do) I ask forgiveness and that humbling gives me grace to do what is right. I can still carry out God's commands to correct, reprove, and discipline my children, but it is no longer manipulative oppression. Praise God! Ask God to reveal the strongholds of wrong thinking or lies which are keeping you from freedom to do what is right! They may be different ones than those that have blackened my mind, and I am sure I have many more to expose to the Light, as well.
"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby. … Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:" (Hebrews 12:11,14)
