by Elisha Ann Wahlquist
Coming at the end of a hectic week, that blessed day, Sunday, arrives. The Camden household is busy doing last-minute straightening, since church will meet at their spacious abode. Geneva assists her little sister to dress, and then arranges the child's blond hair into twin buns festooned with ribbons. Mrs. Camden makes a last-minute walk through the house, checking to see that everything is in order. Another daughter, Abigail, goes over her lunch list to make sure everything is prepared. Abigail was in charge of all the meals this month, and she planned extra food for Sunday lunches so her father could invite others if he wished. A shout from the younger ones by the front window-"Someone's here!"-sends everyone to the front door, where they warmly greet the first arrivals. There is a new family attending this morning, and each one seeks to make them welcome. After the service, Mr. Camden invites the newcomers to stay for lunch. They accept, and the afternoon is filled with joyful fellowship. That evening, Mr. Camden thanks everyone, and Abigail in particular, for making it possible for them to invite over the new family for lunch. "That was wonderful," he says. "It enabled us to get to know them better, and made them truly feel welcome."
Who are we supposed to serve? In Luke 4:8, Jesus references the Old Testament, and says,
"…it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve."
But we are also told in the Bible to serve those who have been given jurisdiction, or authority, over us.
"Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." (Heb. 13:17)
In fact, Colossians says that when we serve those over us, we are serving Christ.
"Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God: And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ." (Col. 3:22-24)
Why do we serve those over us? Because 1) God has commanded it, and 2) we are thus serving Christ, our Savior and Lord. But our "masters" are not limited to a boss in the workplace, or even the government. There are various jurisdictions God has set up, and one of those is that He has placed the parents in a place of responsibility over their children.
"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." (Col. 3:20)
So, since we are called to serve our authorities, and our parents are one of those God-appointed authorities, then we must serve them, as well. In this article, I will focus mainly on serving our fathers, though there are many important ways we can serve our mothers, too.
How should we serve them? In Ephesians, Paul says,
"Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men:" (Eph. 6:6,7)
Barnes Commentary makes this insightful comment on the phrase "doing the will of God from the heart:"
"Doing the will of God from the heart. That is, God requires industry, fidelity, conscientiousness, submission, and obedience in that rank of life. We render acceptable service to God when, from regard to his will, we perform the services which are demanded of us in the situation in life where we may be placed, however humble that may be."
So we should serve those over us-our fathers-with industry, fidelity, conscientiousness, submission, and obedience. There is a very convicting verse in Luke which says,
"So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do." (Luke 17:10)
Do we serve our parents by doing only what they have asked us to do? Then we are unprofitable! Strong's suggests that another meaning for the word "unprofitable" here is "useless." Think of it-we are useless if we do not go beyond what is asked of us! This should inspire us to do more than is required, to use initiative to seek out ways we can serve and bless our authorities.
What are some practical ways that daughters can serve their fathers?
I know many girls across the country who are amazing assets to their fathers and families: taking over all the menu planning and meal preparation, aiding their father's political views by making calls etc., overseeing aspects of the family business, cheerfully investing in younger siblings, keeping the house clean to permit frequent hospitality, writing letters to family members, raising vegetable gardens, doing research, helping train siblings, orchestrating family ministry events, and creating with money-saving projects and handiwork. These young women are vital elements in their home-life. You see, "serving our father" doesn't always mean that we are his secretary-although that certainly can be one way to serve. It involves a whole lot more!
Just living at home, being alert to the needs there, and seeking out ways to help your father are big ways to serve him! Make it a habit to ask your father, "Dad, are there any projects or goals I can help you with?" Even if he can't think of anything at the moment, you have demonstrated to him your willingness to aid, and he may think of something later. Be careful to listen to your dad's preferences, and be an enthusiastic part of making his dreams a reality. We can do much to encourage or discourage our father's ideas and plans by our reaction to them. Mrs. Jennie Chancey says,
"Much rests on husbands and fathers as they represent their households, so lighten that burden by being supportive, encouraging, and involved."
One of my father's goals has been to build our own debt-free house. At present, we are involved in doing just that, and it has been exciting to see ways we can aid him. My sister and I have spent hours on the computer, looking up various building material options, discovering less toxic alternatives, and evaluating design ideas. This has saved him time, and helped further our building progress. Family work days also include things like wiring electrical circuits, digging trenches, and staining the cement slab.
One often-overlooked way that we can actively serve our father is by serving our mothers at home. Helping with the children is a major way to assist her. There are also many everyday tasks like cleaning, decluttering, and organizing that make our homes more pleasant, relaxing, and attractive to our fathers and set a tone of peace and orderliness in the house. As well, if the house is usually in order, our fathers will feel freer to invite others over. Our homes are ultimately reflections upon him and our family.
Heather hurried into the living room, and glanced desperately about at the chaos. Last night's teacups still sat on the sideboard, toys rioted in a cacophony of color all over the floor, there were cookie crumbs and chocolate smears on the couch, and the children's hats and dirty socks were scattered randomly around the room. 'They always forget,' she sighed inwardly. Plunging wearily into the mess, she emerged with her sister's missing church shoe. Just then, she heard a weak call from her mother's room. "Coming!" she answered. Her mother's room was dusty and dirty. The faded curtains hung wanly across the window that framed her mother's bed. "I'm sorry to be another burden, Heather, but I need a glass of water before you leave," her mother sighed. "It's okay, Mom-just keep resting! I'm just glad we have a little one on the way," Heather replied. After carrying out that errand, she glanced at her watch. Time to leave for church! She raced out to the van, pausing only to grab a scrunchie on the way to try to corral her hair into some semblance of order. Her father looked harried, too. The disorder of home was wearing upon them all.
After church, Heather sought out Mrs. Kingston, one of the elder's wives, and asked her for help. "You're home is so nice and clean, Mrs. Kingston! How do you do it? With Mother on bedrest, I have so many things to do, and I never can find enough time to do all the cleaning and straightening that needs to be done-but the mess is driving me crazy, and we're all getting depressed!"
"It really is the little things," Mrs. Kingston answered, smiling at the young woman as they seated themselves. Putting her toddler on the floor with a toy, she continued, "I really don't have much time for big blocs of all-out cleaning. Most of what I do is what I term 'maintenance cleaning'-I do it as I go, as I carry out other tasks. For example, as I pass through the living room, I'd pick up the books scattered on the couch and put them in their basket, then, on my way through the hall, I pick up the rags on the floor. After my nap, if the little ones are still down, I might seize the moment to clean the bathrooms, or mop the floor." Glancing round the spacious room, she continued, "I also try to keep the amount of knickknacks and clutter to a minimum. The less stuff, even decorations, on tables and mantles, the less cluttered the room seems, and the easier it is to clean. Even when there are toys on the floor, if the room is not cluttery, it isn't as messy-looking. But I don't do all the work. I am training my children to make picking up after themselves a habit." A wry smile flitted across her face, and she chuckled. "Even I need to remind myself sometimes to just do the extra step of putting a cup away after I use it-it saves me so much stress and time later on. So, it really is the little things-if they're dealt with before they pile up, the house stays cleaner!"
Like the above tale illustrates, just seeking to have every room neat before you leave it helps create a continual, pleasant home atmosphere. The small things, the "trifles" of life, are often the most important. Take the initiative to clean up-but don't expect others to necessarily notice-just do it all as service to God, looking to Him for your reward. Which brings us back to the point we made at the beginning of this article. All the "unimportant" tasks are important and meaningful when we focus on doing them unto the Lord. Can you think of many things more simple than giving someone a drink of water? That doesn't seem "spiritual" or important, but yet Jesus says;
"For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward." (Mark 9:41)
I once read a list of questions for wives to ask themselves. Several of them stood out to me as ones that are very useful for daughters to ask themselves, too:
Am I nurturing a spirit of loveliness in my home? Is there music in my voice? Is there sweetness on my countenance? Is there kindness on my lips?
There is a beautiful quote penned in the 19th century, that inspires me:
"A good daughter is the steady light of her parent's house. Her father's memory is forever connected with that of his happy fireside. She is his morning sunlight-his evening star."
May God enable each one of us to be bright sunbeams of joyful service in our father's house!
