by Janet Wahlquist
"But the fruit of the spirit is…temperance," (Galatians 5:22)
This month I would like to review a technique for building self control (temperance) in our children. This is one of many tools for character training, but is so useful, so helpful, that it is worth examining afresh. Blanket Training is the name we use for training a baby, 4 months to about 3 years old, to stay put and play contentedly in a designated area. There may be other resources out there which are more thorough, but for those who have not heard of this wonderful idea, here are some thoughts.
I learned about Blanket Training from a tape by an extremely wise older woman quite a few years ago. She explained how she would put her crawling baby on a blanket, seriously pat around the edges of the blanket on the floor, saying, "No, no, no." in a firm voice. When the baby began to crawl off, she would swat her hand firmly, saying "No." and place him back on the blanket. Training would continue in short episodes for about a week until the baby had mastered the limits of the blanket.
One might wonder why not purchase a playpen and plop the baby in it. Playpen or crib time has its own usefulness, especially for times when one cannot be as vigilant and the baby needs to be contained. But Blanket Time enables the baby to contain himself. Real life will always have limits and a person with self-control has the framework to build character. For a baby to learn to restrain himself from crossing a boundary is a great victory. He must say "no" to his natural desire for that specific time. "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." (Proverbs 25:28) "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." (Proverbs 16:32)
Here are some tips for getting started. First, choose your area. Make sure it is a place where you can easily see the child. Use a large area rug which contrasts with the carpet or flooring, or a large blanket, quilt etc. which is heavy enough not to scrunch up when the child moves around. After the child masters staying on, even a small flannel square laid down at a meeting or conference will work wonders, but not during the first weeks of practise. The size of the blanket is important. If too small, the baby will get off without meaning to and it will get confusing. It should be large enough that they deliberately begin to crawl off, at least 4 feet by 4 feet. Larger than 6 feet may be too big, as the baby will not get off for a long time, or might not test the limits.
Place a few interesting toys in the center of the rug or spread-out quilt, maybe ones the child has not seen for awhile. Pat the floor around each edge of the blanket, saying "no" firmly. If your baby is like all of mine, he will watch your show with interest and then crawl straight past the fascinating toys toward the edge of the blanket. As soon as his hand begins to touch the forbidden zone (floor or carpet), say, "no", and swat his hand so that it stings. Comfort him on the blanket and place him in the center again. This will need to be repeated. Two essentials: at this stage; watch with undivided attention. If the child gets off even once, it will strengthen his will to try again and make it harder to train him (but not impossible). Second, do not make the training time too long. Once the child is playing with the toys for a little while, even just a few minutes, pick him up and praise him, take him off and put the blanket away until the next time. Extend the Blanket Time gradually to longer periods of time. Older children can be expected to eventually play for an hour happily. If your child is over one year old and knows "No" well, he may need a real spanking instead of a hand swat, when he refuses to stay on in the designated area.
"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." (Proverbs 29:17) This Proverb came to mind last week as I sat for three days at a Conference and listened to the wonderful speakers, while Stephen (9 mo.) contentedly played on a 2 feet by 3 feet flannel. I was truly amazed and thankful for the time invested. At times we weren't sure if he would ever catch on as he is very adventurous and stubborn. I believe those wonderful qualities now have a foundation of self control, so they may be channeled into great accomplishments in Stephen's future.
