by Janet Wahlquist
Often we mothers must reprove and correct our precious children. This is important and good, but I would like to propose that this usually comes easier than to praise, encourage, and visualize success for them. We would do well to give them positive purpose for what they do, instead of mere negative "no's". A little film clip I saw recently demonstrated this so well. A three year old boy appears with a microphone lisping, "Here are three ways the gentlemen can protect the ladies." He proceeds to demonstrate shooting a "wild animal", opening the door for his sister, and taking out the trash. As he plods down the steps, dragging a huge, heavy bag, and marches out to the trash can, I know he is thinking, "This is how I am helping mommy and sissy," as he states afterwards. What a powerful, but overlooked principle at our fingertips, or really at the tip of our tongue. "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." (Pr. 31:26) "Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones." (Pr. 16:24) "…the words of the pure are pleasant words." (Pr. 15:26)
Here are some tips for blessing our children positively. Use Scripture whenever possible. "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God." (Matt. 4:4) For example, "I want you to cook these extra chickens because we are having company. This is a great way to show 'hospitality one to another without grudging.'" (Peter 4:9) Or, "I am so glad to see you reading the Bible. You are desiring 'the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby'." (1 Peter 2:2) Feel free to paraphrase and make God's word understandable, as you encourage with the wonderful words of life. Praise the smallest act or attitude whenever possible. Thank them for what they do and encourage them to continue in good works.
Visualize godly character, occupation or service for your children. Jesus did this for his disciples as recorded in Matt 4:19, Matt 5:14-16, and many other places. We might say, "John, I believe you will win many to Christ, because I see you following Him now," or "Betsy, I know you will be a wonderful mommy. God is pleased when you take care of little Paul so well," or "You are a light to guide others to Jesus!" Speak with faith in what God states in His word that He wants to do, or what He has promised. In Matt 9:24, Jesus said, "Give place; for the maid is not dead but sleepeth." He knew what was going to happen. He saw the happy ending. We must see it too, for our children. An unexpected delay could make everyone grumpy, but we say, 'Just the thing to teach us patience! God is building character in us right now!" (Eph. 4:29)
Bless your children. Bless them. In Matt. 5:1-12, Jesus blesses His own. Use Numbers 6:24 or other blessings. Make up your own, Bible-based blessing. Bless even when your children are acting like enemies (Matt 5:44, James 3:10). Jesus blessed the children. "And he took them up in his arms, put his hands upon them, and blessed them." (Mark 10:16) If your child is having a struggle in an area, bless Him with the missing character quality or attitude. "Sue, the Lord bless you with self-control" "David, may the Lord of hosts bless you with instant obedience. May He bless you with strength to do what is right quickly!" "Jack, God bless you with generosity. Give and it shall be given unto you." Do not forget to tell each child how much you love them, how special they are, what a blessing they are to you. Tell them often, tell them with enthusiasm and hugs, and tell them with your time and attention. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers." (Eph. 4:29)
"And king Rehoboam consulted with the old men, that stood before Solomon his father while he yet lived, and said, How do ye advise that I may answer this people? And they spake unto him, saying, If thou wilt be a servant unto this people this day, and wilt serve them, and answer them, and speak good words to them, then they will be thy servants for ever." (1 Kings 12:6,7)
