By Elisha Ann Wahlquist ~ 6/10/06
Christian young people today are encouraged to "find their life calling," while their parents are supposed to equip each child to be successful in their individual calling. I have met so many sincere, Christian young ladies who tell me, "I have a calling to minister to young people," or, "My goal in life is to serve orphans." Now, what is wrong with that? you might ask. What can be wrong with their sincere, heartfelt desire to help others? It is true that it is not wrong to minister to either orphans or young people. The motivation is a desire to please the Lord. However, what concerns me is the individualism they foster. They encourage an independent spirit, and they tend to overshadow the commands in Scripture to honor parents and to submit to them. These young people are pursuing their own calling-not using their unique talents to make their father's vision a success.
Consider the following scenario:
Mr. Smith's vision was to impact the political world for Christ. However, his family always seemed to be so busy! Take Monday morning, for example…
"The mayoral race for Whitesboro is tomorrow," Mr. Smith announced at the breakfast table. "I was hoping someone could stand at the poll booths to support James Johnson. He truly is making a bold stand for what is right."
"Well, that's nice, honey, but I'm afraid I have to take Paul to the Public Speaking class he teaches. It's so wonderful how he's trying to disciple young men through that," Mrs. Smith replied.
"Where's my chalk? Does anyone know?" queried Lydia. "I have a chalk talk to do tomorrow for the Whitesboro Nursing Home."
Marie placed a platter of scrumptious blueberry muffins on the table, followed by orange juice and sizzling beef sausage.
"Sorry, Dad, but tomorrow's the day I cook at the rescue shelter," she said.
Marie had a real gift for making delicious meals. Others had pressured her to "use it for God's glory," so now twice a week she cooked for a local rescue mission. There had been some misgivings at first about the safety of this choice, but she was "serving the Lord" with her ability to cook so well.
"I wish I could support Mr. Johnson, Dad, but I have a deadline for a website that needs to be completed for the Crisis Pregnancy Center. Sorry," Philip remarked, as he headed for the door. "By the way, Johnson's website was not well designed. I bet that hurt his campaign." The screen door slammed shut behind him.
"I was really hoping that we could support Johnson, but I guess we all are just too busy. We always seem to have other commitments," sighed Mr. Smith.
As soon as the breakfast was finished, Mr. Smith headed off to work, and each member scattered off to their various ministries.
The Smith family were all so busy that they rarely had time to invest together in anything, but, to others, they were doing wonderful things "serving the Lord." Despite their outward appearance of productivity, they had traded family unity and purpose for an individualistic, fragmented idea of "ministry." This actually is the pagan Greek model, which focuses on the individual. To the Greeks, each mortal was "their own person," free to do what pleased themselves, and were not bound to the "constraints" of family life. In sharp contrast, the Biblical Hebrew paradigm was based on close-knit families, where each individual worked to support the vision of their godly, patriarchal father.
The Rechabites are a good, Biblical example of children and descendants faithfully passing down the wisdom, vision, and standards of their patriarchal father, Jonadab the son of Rechab. Because of their faithfulness and obedience, God gave this wonderful promise to them:
"And Jeremiah said unto the house of the Rechabites, Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Because ye have obeyed the commandment of Jonadab your father, and kept all his precepts, and done according unto all that he hath commanded you:
Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Jonadab the son of Rechab shall not want a man to stand before Me for ever." (Jeremiah 35:18-19)
What an exciting promise! Not only this, but because they steadfastly followed the wisdom of Jonadab, and supported his goals by passing them down to their children, they were able to avoid the devastation of military invasion by other hostile countries. Instead of being bound to houses, Jonadab had enjoined upon them that they were to dwell in tents. Since they followed his command (think of the peer pressure they must have faced over the generations!), they were able to move easily, thus avoiding the destruction and judgment that God was bringing upon the disobedient Israelites.
If we pursue our own goals and "callings," we will not be able to wholeheartedly support our father's goals and vision. It will be like ten horses pulling in many directions, rather than ten horses pulling in the same direction, for a common goal. As daughters, and later, as wives, we are supposed to put our unique talents and gifts under the direction of our authority, as helpmeets, and use them to advance the goals that God has given him. We already have a life purpose-to be "keepers at home" in training, and to honor and submit to our fathers! "Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man." (1 Corinthians 11:9) We are made for the man, and to help him accomplish his goals. "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." (Genesis 2:18)
Often, when we pursue our own "callings," we abdicate the responsibilities that God has given us. As young ladies, some of our basic responsibilities are to serve our father, make him a success, and to help our mother train up our siblings. I have noticed that many times, when we pursue our own callings, we become too busy and involved to fulfill our home responsibilities.
We are called to service, and to lay down our own self, in order to find it. "[Christ] made himself of no reputation, and took upon Him the form of a servant…" (Philippians 2:7) "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit." (John 12:24)
This does not mean that we cannot develop and use the talents God has uniquely given to each one of us! Instead, they will be held in proper balance and check through our authority's guidance. We may have to lay down our own desires and pleasures, and even our own "callings"-but, if God wants to use them, He will return them to us in His good timing. The following verses are an encouragement: "And He said to them all, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for My sake, the same shall save it." (Luke 9:23-24)
Here's an example of how this could work:
Monday morning at the Smith household…
"I'm so excited about the culmination of the mayoral race tomorrow!" Mrs. Smith bubbled. "We've all worked so hard for it, and I really think we made a difference."
"It was wonderful how it worked out to invite neighbors and influential people into the home. Marie's cooking skills were a real asset for hospitality, and it was amazing how Lydia's chalk talks fit in with my presentations to pave the way for discussions on politics and so much more," Mr. Smith remarked.
"Yes, I think we had an influence on a good number of people that way," Paul agreed. "Along with that, it was wonderful to see how many people went to Johnson's website, and to know that his stance was articulate and appealing because of Philip's work on it. Having him orchestrate our family website was certainly helpful, too."
"Paul, it has been exciting to see how you've been able to use your speaking talents to clearly and convincingly support his cause!" Marie encouraged.
"To me, the best part has been that we were all working together to accomplish Dad's goal. This has brought us closer together, and I feel like we have accomplished more than we could ever have imagined. It has been a good testimony for others to see a family working together and enjoying each others' company - not just going their separate ways and seeking individual fulfillment." Philip added.
