by Elisha Ann Wahlquist
Hospitality. It is an almost forgotten courtesy in this rushed, hectic, modern age. And yet it is so important! It is a powerful, Biblical weapon for advancing God's kingdom, as the example of Aquila and Priscilla illustrates.[1] Blessing others through hospitality is one of the greatest ministries and mission fields a family can have! How important is it? When laying out the qualifications for church leaders, Paul says:
"A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;" (1 Timothy 3:2), underline mine
"Given to hospitality" is right in there with being able to teach and blameless of reputation! Another list in Titus says a church leader should be "a lover of hospitality."[2] Hospitality, therefore, is very important. But is it just for church leaders? Doesn't that let others off the hook? Absolutely not! In Romans, we are commanded,
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality." (Romans 12:10-13) underline mine
The apostle Peter also commands,
"Use hospitality one to another without grudging." (1 Peter 4:9)
Hospitality brings with it great rewards.[3] I have noticed that my family and I receive unexpected blessings whenever we are practice it. For example, we recently had a family over as a way to minister to them, and we were surprised to find ourselves greatly encouraged by them as they shared their ideas about politics and theology!
There are many factors which can make it difficult to be hospitable. Finances, time, ability, and desire can all play a role. Various situations-if you are a mother with young children, or your husband has odd work hours, or someone in your family has health problems-can make it extremely difficult. If the problem is limited finances, there are many creative ways that a willing maiden can wisely use resources and still practice hospitality. Then it will be the joyful act of love it is intended to be!
First of all, it is helpful to seek your authority's direction. What are his goals? Does he prefer small gatherings or a large bash? Who is on his heart to minister to? If our husband (or father) does not desire to be hospitable, or his idea of hospitality is different from ours, it will cause unneeded stress, and probably not accomplish the goals of hospitality, either. In my family, my mother, sister, and I seek my father's direction on when, how often, and who we should have over. There is an extra joy that comes when you know you are serving and ministering to those whom your authority desires to minister to.
The following tips and hints are things that I have learned over the years about how to be hospitable. Most of them are negotiables-they are what has worked for my family. You should tailor any inspiration to suit your unique situation.
- Plan a menu that is within your abilities. It is not necessary to cook complicated gourmet meals for your guests. That is something that is nice-but how many people have the free, undisturbed hours to recreate the meticulous, eight-course "Rabelais" a la Valentinoise of the famous French chef? It is fun to experiment with recipes, and if you have the ability, go ahead-but don't feel pressured to cook an elaborate meal. Taco Salad is something very simple, but tasty.[4] The fellowship should be the most important thing, not the food!
- Have a standard meal plan that you know you can accomplish. This goes along with the above tip, and helps to reduce a lot of stress. One such menu that I have often served is carrot salad,[5] steamed zucchini, meatloaf,[6] and berry cobbler topped with whipped cream. Since I have served this before, there are no nasty "surprises" in the preparation ("this calls for pickled eel extract! Oh, no!"), I know just how much time it will take me to do it all, and, since I've served it as a company meal before, I know when I should put the different items in the oven.
- Do as much as you can beforehand, so you are free to enjoy your guests and make them feel comfortable. This is a tip I learned from my grandmother, who was an accomplished hostess (she twice had the famous Bishop Desmond Tutu over for dinner!). There are many recipes out there that can be prepared the day before and refrigerated overnight, like this tasty Sausage 'n' Cheese Strata.[7]
- Work on remembering things your guests enjoy or facts about them. My family will often make up a list beforehand of questions to ask the guests. One idea I have heard of is to sit down and studiously think of such things before the guests come-it will be easier to remember them in the course of the conversation later. My mother is a great example of this. She has a real gift of making everyone feel welcomed and at ease. One of her secrets is her ability to remember interests of others, and ask about them or bring them into the conversation. When others are pausing awkwardly and desperately searching for something else to talk about, my Mother is graciously saying, "Your little siblings are real letter-writers, aren't they?" The small facts and tidbits she remembers and brings up add interest and life to the conversation. One of my goals is to become as good a conversationalist as my Mom.
- For a sit-down dinner, set the table beforehand. I like using placecards, because then there's no confusion about where to sit. An easy way to make them is to fold 3" by 5" cards in half, and then write the guests' names on them. Don't feel like you have to always serve a sit-down dinner, however-a buffet line, and having everyone sit in the living room once they've served themselves, is a fun, different option, and often much easier for the hostess.
- If you have a garden, cut some flowers and put them in vases around the house. Little touches add so much! Zinnias and sunflowers are easy-to-care-for, simple flowers that will grow almost anywhere. You can also stick a few sprigs of mint or rosemary in a vase.
- Give yourself a few minutes right before your guests come to touch up your hair, brush your teeth, etc., and compose yourself. First impressions are important, and it makes a great difference in the way you are able to greet your guests. Of course, there still will be times when you've just been dashing around cleaning up the house, your hair is frizzy, and you must welcome in your guests-but it helps a lot to feel calm, collected, and ready.
- Create a peaceful atmosphere. Try to eliminate loud, raucous noises-instead, play a soft, quiet classical CD in the background.
- Spread the housecleaning over the days before your guests arrive, if possible. It really helps to keep your house de-cluttered-then you have less to clean, and things stay in better order. My mother has taught us children to pick up after ourselves, and she also has two times of day-before lunch and then late afternoon-when she has us go around the house, putting things right. That really helps us to be ready for last-minute or unexpected hospitality! As a side benefit, it improves our attitudes to live in a clean, orderly house!
- Have some quiet toys nearby, so you don't have to run and get some when they're needed. My family tries to visit all together, with the older ones sitting in the living room and the little ones playing on a blanket nearby, so we have a small Tupperware of toys available for them to play with.
- Walk out with your guests and wave until they're out of sight. This seems simple, but I have always been amazed how special it makes me feel when we are visiting!
I hope these tips will be helpful to you! It is an inspiring and wonderful thing to obey God's commands and bless others through hospitality!
Elisha Ann Wahlquist is a twenty-year-old homeschool graduate who seeks to delight in her femininity, her Lord, and in being her father's daughter. Investing in her five brothers and two sisters keeps her busy, but she still finds time to search the Scriptures, write, manage her father's website www.untaintedbytheworld.com, and learn the skills that (Lord willing) will be a blessing to a husband and children someday.
Footnotes:
[1] "And he began to speak boldly in the synagogue: whom when Aquila and Priscilla had heard, they took him unto them, and expounded unto him the way of God more perfectly." (Acts 18:26), and, "The churches of Asia salute you. Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house." (1 Cor. 16:19)
[2] "But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;" (Titus 1:8)
[3] "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." (Heb. 13:2)
[4] For Taco Salad, cook ground beef in a skillet with a little oil until done and add taco seasonings such as garlic, chili powder, basil, oregano, a dash of cumin, etc. You can also cook black beans or pintos and season them similarly. Then, when company arrives, set out shredded cheese, salsa, sour cream, shredded lettuce, taco shells/corn chips, and whatever else you like for toppings-avocados, olives, chopped tomatoes…
[5] Nathaniel's Carrot Salad
My brother Nathaniel created this salad a few years ago when he was in charge of using the food processor to make our salads. :-) We like it, and it is simple to put together! It makes a large bowlful-perfect for when you have a large family and you've invited over a group!
5# carrots,
2 cans coconut milk
3 or 4 cans pineapple chunks in their own juice
Grate the carrots (we use a food processor), and add the coconut milk and pineapple chunks (and the juice in the pineapple cans!). Stir together, and refrigerate until needed. Variation: substitute a cup or two of grated apple for some of the grated carrots. I sometimes add a little nutmeg or cinnamon, too!
[6] Mom's Delicious Meatloaf
This is my Mother's meatloaf recipe. It is very similar to the one that was passed down by my great-grandmother with the inscription, "This is a very old recipe." Whenever we serve it, it gets rave reviews!
3# ground turkey or beef
3 c. rolled oats or bread crumbs
3 eggs
1 c. Parmesan
1 c. salsa
1 T parsley
6 cloves garlic, mashed
3 T. minced onions
1 ½ t. basil/oregano
3 t. salt
Mix all ingredients together thoroughly with hands. Divide and put in two greased 9" pans. Bake at 350* for 40-50 minutes, until done. Enjoy!
[7] Sausage 'n' Cheese Strata
5 c. cubed bread, divided
1# ground beef, browned, with 1 clove garlic, seasoned with basil, thyme, or/and parsley, to taste
2T chopped onion
½ c. chopped green pepper
2 c. shredded Jack cheese
2 c. heavy cream
8 eggs
1 c. mayonnaise
½ t. pepper
1 t. salt
dash cayenne pepper
Place 3 ½ c. of bread crumbs in a greased 9" by 13" glass pan. Top with sausage, green pepper, and onion. Sprinkle on cheese. In a large bowl, combine cream, eggs, mayonnaise, pepper, and cayenne. Pour over cheese. Toss remaining bread crumbs in a dash of olive oil, and sprinkle on top. Cover and refrigerate 8 hours or overnight. Remove from refrigerator and bake, uncovered, at 325* for 40-50 minutes, or until knife inserted in center comes out clean. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
