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by Ron Wahlquist

What is Family Worship? At the very basic level, family worship is the regular gathering of the family to worship God in the home.

Why do Family Worship? Because it provides a practical means to fulfill some of the responsibilities given to husbands and fathers. It is hard to find scriptures that command us specifically to do family worship, but it is not difficult to find verses that focus on the father's responsibility to train up his children and to edify his wife.

First of all, God holds the head of the household responsible for the conduct of his family. Here are three sobering examples:

Adam. The Bible speaks of the fall of Adam, despite the fact that Scripture only records a dialog between the serpent and the woman. However, Adam, who was with her, was held accountable by God for letting Eve be deceived.

Eli. The high priest Eli was held accountable for the immoral behavior of his sons. It was not sufficient for him merely to warn them. As the LORD said,

"For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not." (1 Sam. 3:13)

Samuel. Despite the negative example of Eli, Samuel too failed to raise his sons to walk in the way of the LORD, and so he was rejected as the judge of Israel in the call for a king (1 Samuel 8:1-5).
Fathers who do not bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord provoke them to wrath (Ephesians 6:4).

The spiritual exercise of headship involves teaching God's Word. God's call of Abraham involved spiritual leadership in the family:

"For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him." (Genesis 18:19)

With the giving of the Law, men were still commanded to teach their families:

"And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." (Deut. 6:6-7)

Then, in the time of David, it was understood that fathers were responsible for teaching God's Word to their children:

"Give ear, O my people, to my law: incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God." (Ps. 78:1-8)

As well, in the New Testament the fathers were commanded to bring up their children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4).

And even as the husband is the head of the wife, a husband's love for his wife should involve the use of God's Word:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," (Eph. 5:25-26)

The History of Family Worship
Now that we have looked at various bases in Scripture for having family worship, lets look at its historical roots. Family Worship has been practiced in varying degrees throughout history. Much of the information below was gleaned from an article by Mr. Kerry Ptacek, called A Brief History of Biblical Family Worship <http://members.aol.com/kptacek/bhbfw.html>:

Family worship began to decline when spiritual leadership was passed from fathers to the clergy - the paid church staff.

Then, just prior to the Reformation, it began to re-appear in homes in Europe. The revival of family worship became part of the Reformation's agenda of restoring the life of the church on a Biblical basis.

This emphasis was then carried to America. The first settlers of Salem entered into a covenant in 1629 "Promising also unto our best ability to teach our children and servants the knowledge of God, and of His Will, that they may serve Him also." Cotton Mather recounts many examples of prominent New Englanders leading their households in family worship.

Then, with the rise of Christian state education, family worship began todecline in New England at the end of the 17th century.

In the Westminster Confession of Faith daily family worship is taken for granted (XXI.VI). Thomas Manton's preface to the Confession spoke entirely of the use of Family Worship by heads of families in the home.

In 1647, the Church of Scotland issued a Directive that censured those who neglect family worship. It said, "… the Assembly doth further require and appoint ministers and ruling elders to make diligent search and enquiry, in the congregations committed to their charge respectively, whether there be among them any family or families which use to neglect this necessary duty; and if such family be found, the head of the family is to be first admonished privately to amend his fault; and, in case of his continuing therein, he is to be gravely and sadly reproved by the session; after which reproof, if he be found still to neglect Family-worship, let him be, for his obstinacy in such an offence, suspended and debarred from the Lord's supper, as being justly esteemed unworthy to communicate therein, till he amend."

English Puritanism after Westminster continued to emphasize the distinctive features of Biblical spiritual leadership in the home. Richard Baxter stated that "The husband must be the principal teacher of the family. He must instruct them, and examine them, and rule them about matters of God."

Kerry Ptacek states the following in another article, "Family and Government in Puritan New England":

New England Puritans, like their counterparts in England and Scotland, did not view family worship as a rival to congregational worship, but rather as its complement: "Domestic instruction and worship was considered indispensable to the success of the weekly services in the church, for religion was too important a matter to be left to weekly lessons" (Morgan, p. 139).

Historians also have observed that the Puritan family was expected not only to be a little church but a little school, and a little commonwealth. One of the leading new historians of the period affirms that "The family was regarded as a religious society with the obligations of group Scripture reading, prayer, and catechizing... Within the family the husband was without question the master. He was prince and teacher, pastor and judge in his household" (Francis J. Bremer, The Puritan Experiment, p. 177).

Three decades later, Matthew Henry preached in his 1704 sermon "On Family Religion" that "Masters of families, who preside in the other affairs of the house, must go before their households in the things of God. They must be as prophets, priests, and kings in their own families; and as such they must keep up family-doctrine, family-worship, and family-discipline..."

Moving into 18th & 19th Century America…

During the Great Awakening George Whitefield preached that "we must forever despair of seeing a primitive spirit of piety revived in the world until we are so happy as to see a revival of primitive family religion." He reiterated that "every governor of a family... [is] bound to instruct those under his charge in the knowledge of the Word of God." Jonathan Edwards (1703-58) stated in his "Farewell Sermon" that "family education and order are some of the chief means of grace. If these fail, all other means are likely to prove ineffectual."

After Independence from Great Britain, many shared the view that Family Worship was a distinctive that set believers apart from "the enemies of the cross of Christ".

Family worship began to decline again in the middle of the 19th century with the rise of Sunday school. Logically, when responsibility shifts off of the head of the home, the practice suffers. Nevertheless, there were still some who affirmed that "God requires in the home daily instruction of the children in the Scriptures and the training of the children in all forms of Christian service. God lays on the man, as the head of the family, the chief responsibility for the performance of these requirements... and will not sanction the delegation of this responsibility to the wife, the Sabbath school, or to any other agency."

Family worship continued to be spoken of and advocated by some, down to the middle decades of the 20th century.

From the late 1980s a revived interest in Puritanism and concern about the spiritual condition of Christian families have combined to bring about a renewed interest in Biblical family worship. And that is where we are today.

A.W. Pink (1886-1952) had this to say: "The writer has met many people who profess to be Christians, but whose daily lives differ in nothing from thousands of non-professors all around them. They are rarely, if ever, found at the prayer-meeting, they have no Family Worship, they seldom read the Scriptures, they will not talk with you about the things of God, their walk is thoroughly worldly; and yet they are quite sure they are bound for heaven! Inquire into the ground of their confidence, and they will tell you that so many years ago they accepted Christ as their Savior, and "once saved always saved" is now their comfort. There are thousands of such people on earth today, who are nevertheless, on the Broad Road, that leadeth to destruction, treading it with a false peace in their hearts and a vain profession on their lips."

Family Worship can be a major encourager and enabler of spirituality within families. Many have caught the vision in our day.

As a result, we have some churches today, like the one led by Voddie Baucham in Houston, where Family Worship is considered to be so important that any man not leading his family in Family Worship is considered worthy of church discipline (like in 1647, in Scotland).

Many would say that one great cause of the decay of religion in our day is the Lack of Family Worship. Most of my generation in the United States did not grow up in a family that practiced Family Worship. How many of you men out there, 35 or older, grew up in a home that practiced regular family devotions? If any, how many were led by the father?

So, as a result, the majority of men today are "out of their element" when it comes to Family Worship. We need to be shown how to do this, and to see the importance and benefit of it.

Wives need to understand this, and to give grace to their husbands, allowing them to lead out and to possibly stumble about at first. Once the husband is convinced of the value of Family Worship and once he has determined to do it, he will need his wife's help and encouragement.

There are two main reasons that people might give to dismiss the idea of regular Family Worship. They are "Lack of Available Time", and "Lack of Ability".

Concerning "Lack of Available Time", we need to get things into perspective. What kind of priority do we each place upon eating? Are there days that go by where we feel too busy to bother with eating a meal? No, it is a matter of Priority. We give Priority to eating, and we make sure that it happens (unless purposely fasting). In the same way, if we truly give Priority to Family Worship (as high as eating), then we drop other things to provide the needed time.

Concerning time, we also need to ask ourselves, "What is my primary responsibility?" If it is Caring for my Household, then I better make room for activities that will allow me to fulfill that responsibility. Many men in our generation have been taught that their primary responsibility is to provide for the material needs of their family, but this falls far short of God's purpose for them. It is a small part, but God calls us to raise up a godly seed, for generations to come. Family Worship can be a vital part of making that happen.

Concerning "Lack of Ability", some men may feel insufficient to rise to the task. This is partly due to a misunderstanding about how simple Family Worship can be, and we will talk about that later. But even if Family Worship were difficult and required major skills, the LORD will provide the skills with use. As the father does what he can, he will improve over time.

Family Worship is important, because it strengthens the family, through its appointed leader. And the Family is at the core of the church, as we have heard in the recent messages on Family-Based ministries (inside and outside the home). The strength of the individual families will determine the potential strength of a church.

The Elements of Family Worship

In its simplest form, Family Worship has traditionally included the following: Reading the Word, Praying, and Singing.

Historically, different groups have practiced Family Worship from 1, to 2, to 3 times per day. The important thing is to make it Consistent. Try to make it a thing that you never miss. If schedules will not allow everyone to be present, do it with as many as possible, or re-schedule it at another time that day.

Each one of the basic areas just mentioned (reading the Bible, praying, and singing) can be expanded, as desired, to be very comprehensive, and taking on the emphasis of the particular family. For instance, the "Reading the Word" might include:

Reading of Psalms and Proverbs, or reading consecutively through scripture.

It might also include the reading of some devotional (but the main emphasis should be on God's Word).

It might also include what some call "catechizing" - the teaching of doctrine to the children.

Teaching the passage to your family.

Use it as a time to give vision (for the short-term and the long-term).

Time to exhort / encourage the family.

The "Praying" might include:

Thank God for family blessings

Confession of sins.

Ask God to meet needs.

Give God glory

Thank Him openly, often.

Lay our load (burden) upon God

Ask God's grace for our defense.

Ask God to enable us to be faithful in our walk.

Prayer for condition of Church, Kingdom, Family - every member.

Practical suggestions for making it work:

Read around the circle (helps everyone to keep attention), with younger children reading less.

Be flexible - encourage questions during the reading.

Have an established plan for the scripture to read (like reading consecutively through scripture).

For the singing time, march through a Hymn book or Psalter.

Give opportunity for people to clear up any sins between family members.

Make a list of prayer items on posterboards, with different boards for each day. Some topics could be Government leaders, other families, churches, relatives, ministries, missionaries, etc. This especially helps the little ones to have things to pray for.

Give opportunity to share things from personal lives - any member.

Do not accept distractions. Take the phone off the hook, etc. We are just learning this one.

Charles Spurgeon (1834-1892) had this to say about distractions:

"I trust there are none here present, who profess to be followers of Christ who do not also practice prayer in their families. We may have no positive commandment for it, but we believe it is so much in accord with the genius and spirit of the gospel, and that it is so commended by the example of the saints, that the neglect thereof is a strange inconsistency. Now, how often this Family Worship is conducted in a slovenly manner! An inconvenient hour is fixed; and a knock at the door, a ring at the bell, the call of a customer, may hurry the believer from his knees to go and attend to his worldly concerns. Of course, many excuses might be offered, but the fact would still remain that, in this way, we often restrain prayer."

If you have Family Worship more than once a day, you can make each session have a different "flavor." This is an ideal opportunity for the father to convey his personal theology to the family. Remember that Family Worship is not just something we need to do (to check off of our to-do list). It has a real goal and purpose to fulfill. Use it for the good of the family.

Wives, encourage your husbands in this. Do not be critical. Instead, sit on the edge of your seat, and put on a smile. Otherwise, if you are critical or impatient, you can be the cause of your husband giving up in this crucial area. He will improve with time and practice.

Strive for Consistency. Don't shoot for doing it most of the time, but forall of the time. If a day's schedule will not allow it at the normal time, re-schedule it ahead of time, but get it into the day.

Note: Family Worship is not to replace the personal Bible reading/prayer time of each member of the family. It should be a continuation of, and supplement to, each person's devotion time.

The beauty of family worship: There are no hard or restrictive rules. Do what makes sense for your family. Make it meaningful and also try to make it worshipful.

By doing Family Worship, we can bring Glory to God, ground our family in the Bible, produce unity in the home, and generate children who can influence society.

WARNING: Consequence of not doing Family Worship:

There is a real consequence to not calling on God's Name. You might call on God's name but not be doing Family Worship, but Family Worship is a natural time to call upon God.

"Pour out thy fury upon the heathen that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name: for they have eaten up Jacob, and devoured him, and consumed him, and have made his habitation desolate." (Jer. 10:25)

Various Examples of Family worship:
The Arnold Pent version of Family Worship. Arnold Pent III, who wrote Ten P's In A Pod, shares of his father, who said, "We should feed our souls as often as we do our bodies." So, their family had 30 minutes of Bible reading, praying, and singing after each meal. Even when they were travelling all over the country singing and preaching, they faithfully continued this practice, and many families whom they stayed with caught the vision for family worship.

Matthew Henry's family (his parents). Matthew Henry once wrote regarding family worship;

"'Here the Reformation must begin.' If we are to experience the fullness of God's blessings and are to be as faithful to Him as we can be, we must begin with the family, the very building block of God's kingdom. This is something that was understood by the first and second generation Dutch-Canadian Christians among whom I grew up. Every meal was begun with prayer and every meal ended in a time of family worship. I do not recall any exceptions. This was the expectation of all families, and I am quite sure that nothing short of natural disaster would interfere with this family worship. It impacted myself and my family deeply. Outside of those Dutch circles it seems that family worship is far less common. I find it strange that at a time when there is such a great deal of discussion about the priority and nature of worship, so little attention has been given to family worship."

Our family. On weekdays, Janet and the children have family worship before breakfast, while I am already traveling to work. Then I lead one after dinner. In the morning, they read the Psalms and Proverbs for the date, and in the evening, we march through Scripture.

If you do not currently practice Family Worship in your home, you can begin it today. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes to Read, Pray, and Sing together. Customize it for your family, and enjoy the fruit of Family Worship.